No Neck

Earlier this morning, Calvin and Mackey were playing with my elastic-y sports headbands. They put them on their head and around (gasp!) their necks. I pleasantly asked Mackey to avoid putting them around Calvin's neck as he might get hurt.

Me: "Those can get stuck around his neck and be a choking hazard."

Mackey: "Mom. He doesn't even HAVE a neck."

Ok, point Mackey. He really doesn't. His head looks like it just sits on his shoulders.

Mackey Turns 5! Budget Version

When did THAT happen??? I still remember the day he was born. What a good temperment he had as a baby. His Goldy Locks - such a beautiful baby boy:

Stranger: "What pretty girls you have!"

Me: "Thank you!"

Jon: "Ughhh."

So many things!

How Jon cut those locks when I had to leave town for a funeral. How he wouldn't go to nursery until well after is 2nd birthday. How we'll ignore the ages of 3 and a lot of age 4. How now I get a concillatory hug and kiss before preschool drop off. How excited he gets when he masters a new Transformer (which is no small feat; I can't work those things!). How he sees a Sunbeam friend of his on her first Sunday in primary and goes out of his way to say 'hi, how are you doing?' and make her feel welcome. How when he talks to Jon on the phone when he's out of town, the first thing he says is: "Hi, how's it going down there? Are you doing a lot of good work?" How when he says his prayers he says that he is thankful for how hard daddy works for our family...and when he's a daddy, he wants to be a good daddy, too. How he points out that I make mistakes, too, but he loves me no matter what.

Mackey is a never-ending source of humor, sensitivity, service, and boyness as defined: noise with dirt on it. When we sit around with our grown children (in the most-distant future, of course) and talk about growing up, I have a feeling that a lot of our funny family stories will revolve around Mackventures.

Sociology and the Multicultural Valentines

A picture would have been worth a thousand words here...
Anyone who knows my lovely Lucy, knows that she is: decisive, pleasantly headstrong, thoughtful and kind, observant, and very, VERY intelligent. Too intelligent for me to keep up with. Really.
Firstly, rewind to February 13th...the day before Valentine's. Trying to be the Kool-Aid mom, I prepped a simple, sweet homemade Valentine assembly that I thought Lucy would enjoy (at least it got used for Mackey's class!). Alas, no. She'd been working on Valentines at school in her spare time. What she shows me sends politically incorrect shivers up and down my spine - how jaded of me, right? What she had done, in her sweet innocent observance, is cut out pictures of people (or in some cases animals - you know, cute ones like puppies and horses) from magazines that reminded her of kids in her class. Recognize that the demographic make up of her class is multiculturally similar to her first grade class in DC metro/No VA. So, having spent a decade on the east coast, all I can think of are law suits and channel 7. But, breathe in, breathe out, she only has the kindest intentions, so I let her run with it. Yep. You read correctly. I let her pass out her good-intentioned, personalized Valentines. In my head, (is this justification?), I was telling myself that this could be one of those negatively defining moments if I usurped her power. That it wasn't fair for me to project my PC virus (get the double entendre?) onto her.
Part of understanding my freak-fest is understanding how messed up political correctness has made me...et al. The other part would be evident to anyone who could've been a fly on the wall on the way home from East Deliverence, Texas. Lucy and I stop at a Taco Bell (not my usual faire). As we're pulling away, she asks me - and this is almost as dicey as the sex talk - why it seems that a lot of people who work in fast food restaurants are minorities. Her words, not mine. Do you see what kinds of questions I'm fielding? We then proceeded to discuss all sorts of aberrations, social issues, education, and the role of government in the lives of the people it governs. Sigh.
She's SEVEN. It was all just a little too much observance for me in one week. However, after catching my breath, I am grateful that she is the awesome kid that she is.

ABCs of Me or It's All About Me (Isn't it Always?)

I've been tagged by my friend Samantha, which means you are all about to find out things about me that probably won't suprise you AND that nothing would make me happier than to have each reader respond in kind!!! My inner voyeur LIVES for this stuff!!!

(By the way, those I've tagged are listed under the letter T)

A- Attached or single: Attached

B- Best Friend: Jon

C-Cake or Pie: Cookie

D- Day of Choice: Friday...all that fun build up and celebration! (We watch movies, get Sonics, jump on the tramp(oline)...and then clean on Saturday...)

E- Essential Item: lipstick and email

F- Favorite Color: my car color green

G- Gummi Bears or Worms: worms

H- Hometown: the WC, baby...oh? Never heard of Walnut Creek, CA?

I- Indulgence(s): a pedicure with a good book (or trashy magazine)

J- January or July: July! Go, US!

K-Kids: 3...Lucy Jane, Mackey D, and Calvin(fornia)

L-Life is incomplete without: ok, ok, I know everyone else is saying the gospel, and I totally agree...AND...I'd like Target to get some props here.

M- Marriage Date: April 23, 1994

N- Number of Siblings: this is a loaded question for the girl with the CRAZY blended family...hmmm...I'll settle on...4: 2 bros, 2 sis.

O- Oranges or Apples: apples...eck on the oranges with all that gunk!

P- Phobias or Fears: that I'll wake up and it will all just have been a dream...ok, not really, or that something bad might happen to my kids. I know, not much better.

Q- Quote(s): not one for definitive responses...it's a toss up: "when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God" or "be good and be good at it" or "Vice is a monster of so frightful a mien, as to be hated needs but to be seen. Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face, first we endure, then pity, then embrace." but my favorite: "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice."

R-Reason To Smile: My parents are moving down here!!!

S- Season: Spring

T- Tag Six: Audrey, Jessie, Remi, ReBecca, Allie, Tanya C.

U- Unknown Fact About Me: I overshare too much for there to be any unknown facts. Not convinced? just ask me about politics and be a democrat while you're asking...

V- Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animal: Total animal oppressor, although I'm trying to cut back.

W- Worst Habit: Not choosing the better part.

X- X-Rays or Ultrasounds: Who in the world has a preference for either? To match with X, I would have put: Xray vision or ability to fly: then I would have answered...well, duh...fly.

Y- Your Favorite Food: Italian...or anything that someone else has prepared for me

Z: Zodiac: Taurus

'Deliverance' - 'Dueling banjos' scene

This is Deliverance (no, I didn't see the movie either. But between Jon and his roommates in college, I've more than gotten the jist.). See post below for details.

East Deliverance, TX

Oh my gosh...if the 'events' that happened in my 'life' didn't actually happen to me, I wouldn't believe that one person could be such a drama magnet.

Lucy went to a Girl Scout Camp in Palestine, TX, approximately 2 1/2 hours from the superbly suburban part of NE Dallas that we call home. Because the campout wrapped to a Sunday, I told her that I would pick her up Saturday night. So, armed with my mapquest directions and my navigation, I was good to go...or not.

About an hour into the drive, the landscape begins to change from suburban to rural to Deliverance. If you haven't seen the movie, either your husband has or he can make enough casual conversational reference to it that he can explain why a particular area could be deemed 'Deliverance'.

As I drive down barely navigable roads in Hillbilly Hell, the few people out are staring at me (in my foreign-made vehicle no less) like I'm encroaching on their territory. Random dogs - big ones - chase my car down country roads. A bunch of guys on 4-wheelers seem to be chasing me at full speed (circa Mad Max http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mad_Max). The local roadkill? Coyotes. I'm lost, and I SERIOUSLY don't get out and ask for directions for fear that some of these guys may not have seen a real live woman in a really long time and that my body would never turn up OR that I would be mauled to death my the rabid-looking dalmation.

THANK GOODNESS my cell phone still has reception... After calling my patience-of-Job husband, I get back on the right track, retrieve my daughter from a LOVELY (seriously) camp surrounded by post-apocolpytic backwood Hades and high-tail it home. There is a REASON I consider myself a concrete girl...

And, of course, my lovely Lucy had a dashing time. Her leaders were lovely and nurturing. Lucy was excited about riding a horse all by herself, making projects, turning down tea even though she was very thirsty, seeing the stars, and going to bed really late. On the LONG drive home, she speculates that she: feels closer to God in nature, has learned to respect people and what makes them different than her, won't complain on short family walks because she had to walk so far to the cafeteria, and doesn't need to get something in return to feel good about giving... Wow. What great experiences to reflect on. Needless to say, that made Deliverance worth the whole journey.

Mourning for Mitt

Presidential hopeful, Mitt Romney, officially and gracefully withdrew his place in the race for the Republican nomination. To quote Star Wars: "You're our only hope..."

Cry for Help

Help! I ran out of a lipliner that I love, and I can't find it anywhere... I used to buy it at Wegman's in Ashburn, VA (I know, I know; I'm soooo fancy). It's made by Rimmel London, and the color is Fudge with a number (or at least partial number since it's sharpened down) of 07. It's some kind of lip gloss liner. I love it! If you happen to find some and you are feeling like doing a friend a favor and you love to mail stuff (if you're in VA) to a friend who has since moved to TX but stays in really good contact, WILL YOU PLEASE BUY ME...(like)...6? 7? 8? They're like $2 a piece or something. Thank you for your consideration!!!!!! And don't you love that I didn't fill up your in-box with this? Yet? Ok, shout out to ReBecca, Audrey - I know you go to Wegman's!
Oh! And did I mention that they have a childcare in one of the grocery stores here in Allen? ADD moment.

Calvin's Lovey

This...or rather 'these' are Calvin's new objects of affection. Yes, those would be industrial strength work out bras by Enell http://www.enell.com/. He's been carrying them around the house (post work out - ew) for the past few days. The coup de etat was when he brought them out for company. Priceless.

Girlfriends and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Unless you are my friend named Allie Burton, you wouldn't possibly believe that all of these things could happen to one person, in one day, before 2 pm.

Ironically, I'm on my knees praying for patience (of all things) when God decides to test out how serious I am about developing this desparately needed attribute. Needless to say, I failed miserably because I've been tested ALL DAY LONG.

7:00 am: Crash. "Mom, Lucy dropped something." Less than MOTY award exchange(s) with Lucy. I spend the next (no kidding) HOUR cleaning up a Costco size glass jar of soy sauce while getting preschooler, baby, and mommy ready to leave for preschool. My house still smells faintly of a Chinese restaurant.

8:10 am: Calvin dumps breakfast...this is par for the course. Although unphased, I'm asking myself why in the world I went to college if my life's task is to clean.

9:00 am: We are VERY late for preschool.

9:30 am: I am VERY late for my gym class and decide to drop something off at UPS. The culmination of the morning's events plus my declining mental accuity over the past (how old is Lucy?) 7 years is taking it's toll. I seriously can't for the life of me figure out how many $.41 stamps to use to make $2.35. The UPS kid takes pity on me and says, "uh, ma'am? It's 6 stamps." Thanks (braintrust).

9:45 am: Finally get to gym. Great work out on the hamster wheel.

11:15 am: Decide that I want to bring Lucy something at lunchtime. (It will make her day...mine, too.)

11:42 am: Arrive at school two minutes too late for Lucy's lunch. Sigh. Barge into her class so she knows that I was thinking of her. Probably less than endearing to teacher.

1:20 pm: Clean Calvin's second DISASTROUS meal mess - junk on the walls that even the dog couldn't get to, people. He's almost unrecognizable behind the potroast, oatmeal, and yogurt, so I pop him into my tub so I can finish getting ready to pick Mackey up from preschool.

1:38 pm: Running a little late to pick Mackey up, I discover that while Calvin has been enjoying a bath, he decided to relieve his bowels. Yes, into my beautiful, clean tub. He is bathing in his own feces.

1:42 pm: After a proliferation of words that one might find in the Bible, the pest control guy is at my door to 'take care of' the mouse in the garage. More on that later.

1:48 pm: We run out the door almost shutting it on the pest control guy!!!

At this point, I'm still having a bit of a pity party for myself - I don't know why. It really isn't that big of a deal; I have just had a really, really bad attitude. So, I felt like I c/should call a particular friend of mine. A brief 10 minute conversation with her brightened my day, gave me perspective, and ultimately made all the difference in the world. Thank you, Jodie.

I'm happy to report that my day got fantastic...but I still went out for dinner. I just couldn't see cleaning up after one more mess! After Pei Wei, I took Lucy to the rockclimbing wall, and we had a blast.

Calvin's Quest and Spread a Little Love (for the dog)

I love this kid; he cracks me up!

Calvin aka Hoolie, short for Hooligan or Naughty Monkey. Calvin's quest is to assure no Diet Dr. Pepper goes unfinished or any treat drink for that matter. All bets are off as soon as someone leaves a bevvy on
the counter - even for a minute. For example, if Lucy or Mackey leave a Sonic on the counter to use the bathroom, Calvin's internal radar goes off, and he stealthily approaches the 'mark'. This is his only act of silence in his whole toddler repetoir. Only an off-chance glance will catch him. While he loves their icecream drinks (and know that he's already finished his own), the holy grail of his quest is the Diet Dr. Pepper...as evidenced in this picture.

Never selfish, Calvin also enjoys sharing, or in this case: spreading the love. I was taking a shower, and I came out to check on Calvin to find him 'feeding Berkeley'.