Soliciting Suggestions

You know how when you're humiliated in the grocery store when your child is throwing a tantrum and there's always an older woman there ready to offer advice? I actually don't...very much. My friends tell me about the nerve of some people to butt in, etc.

One of the first things I picked up as a parent is "avoid eye contact" in public places. Plus, I think after years of being married to MY husband, I have mastered a look that screams "don't even think about talking to me right now."

Having said ALL that, I'm soliciting unsolicited advice for two things:

1) I really, REALLY need to find another good book, preferably series, so that I will stop hearing vampire voices in my head, and

2) I really need to hear from the mommy crowd with kids in school. I'm finding it increasingly more difficult to carve out one-on-one time with each of my kids on a daily basis (prior to bedtime). There's just SO MUCH STUFF! What are you guys doing?

Twilight Party

Check out these shirts!!! La Tua Cantante!!!! I know you hate the props, Angela, but you really are incredibly creative!

Here's some pix from the respectably-sized gathering of moms who obsess about the Twilight series...along with a couple of brave souls who came despite not having read the books. Jessie... Elaine, you're brave women. About 22? 23 people showed up? Not too bad a turn out, I thought. My only disappointment was that I (me, me, me, me, me) didn't get to pose any of my discussion points as a group. Why? I think I scared everyone with my trivia questions. Apparently, I am paying WAY too close attention. Doesn't EVERYONE remember the names of the three vampires that Jasper met on his way back from Houston, TX around 1861? ANYWAY...it was a lot of fun. My GREAT friends, Angela and Jenn, came up from Austin for the fun and to spend the night (and to shop at Sam Moon the following day). It reminded me of the pity parties back in VA when Jon would travel... Playlist for this party can be found to your right. Of course, it's a work in progress as I'm contstantly playing with it. Who knew whiney rock could be so much fun!

Enough About You, Let's Talk About Me

Maybe it's the time of year...argyle is sprouting up next to the long sleeve, ruffle neck button ups. Jeans yawn and stretch from a long summer's nap. Cardies are getting a little fresh air - even if it's just over a tank top at this point in the season. Cashmere needs a little more cultivation, but it, too, will be ripe soon. Even in Texas. (For a more poetic, less-fashiony description of autumn, check out Samantha.) And I, too, feel like I want a change. I did this last year (almost to the date check out last year's whine fest) but decided to play it safe as 'long hair girl' (coined from my dear ReBecca, who happens to be an AMAZING hair person). Alas, my two regular readers, it's time for me to whine about my hair. I don't have time to redesign my look with the celebrity hair tool off to the right, but of course I have time to post this fabulous picture of Gwyneth Paltrow's haircut that I love and am considering. What do you think???? She has small eyes, I have small eyes. She has a not quite dainty nose. I have a less than dainty nose (ask me about all my Biggest Loser comments...random person: "has anyone ever told you that you look like someone on the Biggest Loser?" me [never having watched the show assume that they're talking about a contestant and am less than flattered]: "um, yeah...and I'm not sure it's a compliment." Then I google her and see the similarity - she got quite the sniffer...hmmm...maybe I should add THAT to my frankenstein list. Hopefully it's not the Jersey girl that just EMINATES from this Jillian that makes people think of me.). Anyway, back to Gwyneth. She gettin' the mommy eyes. I've got mommy eyes in SPADES. Therefore, I wonder if this cut would be good for me. Weigh in. Comment. Vote on the poll (it's anonymous) to your right. Feedback!!! I can barely decide what food to order in a restaurant...Anna? ReBecca? Ladayz????

It's a Good Thing...

Oh My GOSH!!! It's a good thing I don't swear - the kids would've gotten an EARFUL this morning. We were borrowing my dad's car - you know the kind...door handles that 2 year olds can reach because they're in a booster instead of their regular car seat cuz I don't know how to properly reinstall said carseat - and I was taking the kids to school. Low and behold I felt a strange gust of wind the same time the display showed that A DOOR IS OPEN. Calvin opened one of the car doors as I sped my way to a tardy slip. Mackey's quick reactions and cool thinking saved the day (cooler than mine). He climbed over to shut the door without prompting or remark (action without commentary is almost unheard of around here). Calvin is just becoming THAT kid. Sunday, he drew all over my mom's cream leather sofas. Yesterday he drew on my window sills. He hits his sibs and laughs. He drips food on the dog. He's a darling little menace...politely ferocious.

UGH! The scary thing? This isn't the first time a car door flew open mid drive. When Lucy was 2 (what IS it with 2 year olds?!), we brought her to Italy. I was toodling around a corner Rome when the door flew open, and my mom grabbed Lucy. Sooo, by my calculations, that leaves Mackey...

Questionable Judgement Strikes Again

I'm already aware that I'm not winning any MOTY (Mother of the Year) awards...however, had I been in the running, this video evidencing my 2 year old's obsession for his favorite tv show would've tanked me. He's TWO. The only reason we even watch this anymore (after an ill-fated ban of my design) is that JON likes the show.

For all you Ben-Tenners out there, rock on....says Calvin.

Man Card and Jon Has a Way With the Ladies

Because Jon was soooo curious about what in the world I was reading so obsessively - ok, am STILL reading so obsessively - he picked up Twilight...and read the whole series. Because he's Jon, though, and can build a house from duct tape and splinters and has huge muscles, he gets to keep his man card. It's nice to speak conversantly with him about topics such as...oh...Edward's leaving and Jacob's complicating. High priority stuff. Although he didn't cry in New Moon, so I'm not actually sure he read that one...

Perhaps Jon's reading Twilight makes him particularly tantalizing to the Ladayz. We were at a humongous church meeting today where Elder Uchtdorf spoke - and yes, he's dreamy; he spoke about fashion for a moment (sold! he's my new favorite!). While we were waiting, this older woman approached me and started giving me the Spanish Inquisition:

"What's your name?" "What's your husband's name?" "What ward (congregation) are you in?" "Are you new to the area?" So, I finally asked her what I could help her with.

It turns out she's in charge of a Book of Mormon live story thingy (a pageant?) in this area, and she thought Jon would be a GREAT character. To quote: "Your husband would be perfect! He's so big and strong! I saw your husband walk in and I gasped and had to find him!" To which, I responded that I do the same thing. Gasping that is.

Jon is, of course, rolling his eyes. So, he keeps his man card.

Foot in Mouth Disease and My 10 AM Appointment

Ok...I was NOT casting my line out on a fishing expedition by remarking on the lack of response to the tune up. I'm so hideously embarrassed that that may be how it was construed. AGH! I just thought it was so funny and ironic, and I expected my friends to call me out. I'm all about the 180: plastic surgery, Twilight...I just eat humble pie...well, after I pry my foot free.

ANYWAY...so here's the lowdown on today's appointment...

It's an experience in polite personal humiliation. I had to show a good-looking stranger the things about myself that I would NEVER show anyone else. So, yada yada yada: $15,000 for the full frankenstein. Please, please lemme hear someone else's jaw drop. That's like...a car?! So, this is what ELSE you could get for that price tag...

No Remarks About the Texas Size?

Seriously, no one commented on my glib remark about a 'tune up' or things 'Texas-sized'? What?! Sheesh. Maybe I'll really HAVE to get some work done after all... Ok, ok...kidding. Or not. I may not be going in THAT direction, but I am going to consult with a physician tomorrow to (and I'm quoting from the intake sheet that they're having me fill out): "reclaim my body from the carnage of years of hard living and three children". We'll see how THAT goes over. (And if you DO check out the website, it's a little racy, huh...?)

My Big Fat Girlie Trip

So...my finger is poised to hit 'purchase' for my plane tix to VA. Holla to the VA homegirls. I can't resist the irony of a white, middle-class soccer mom givin' a 'shout out'. Chuckle, chuckle. That or throwin' wannabe gang signs. Yes, I'm still heavily issued.

As my one or two readers may have gathered from the tenor of my posts over the past few months, it has been a really challenging time in the Fisher Fam. I think Jon knew I was about to snap...not in a 'yell at the kids occassionaly' kind of snap, but a 'uh-oh, find me a padded room' kind of snap. So, I get some time away. Sigh. Dreamy. Now I'm going to see what kind of 'tune up' I can get out of this before the trip. Nothing Texas size...I promise.