A Week From Today

Wish me luck...I managed to get into a marathon in Houston for January 1. After over training, peaking, and injury, my mid-February goal was far too distant. The gracious people at the Texas Marathon let me beg my way in after the event was closed.

Mileage

Twenty miles. On a treadmill. That's all I'm gonna say about that.

Twilight Review

The one night in Texas that has gotten in the 30s...thank goodness for Niki and her bun-warmers and Heidi bringing hot chocolate...(we won't bug you with special orders...but can you make mine a non-fat, no whip?)

Tanya's all about representin'...All us Mormon girls keeping Starbuck's in business that night...

The theater manager...who looks like a vampire next to the tanning-bed frequenter...who let a lot of us in out of the cold.

The two girls on the far right, Laurel and Monika, set up camp the earliest and got us a spot outside the wind and were ultimately responsible for about 12 women cutting in line. Naughty, naughty us.These are two of the girls that work at my gym in the childcare center who are absolutely adorable!And while I cannot take full responsibility for 'infecting' Miss Stephanie (Calvin's preschool teacher!), I egged her on as she blazed through all the books just in time for the movie premiere and graciously appreciated when I sent Calvin to school in a shirt that read: Twilight Orphan.

And lastly, my review. I will be brief...

I had the BEST experience going early with some super fun friends...Eating a lot candy (Susie totally indulging my LOVE for all things Butterfinger and Red Vine) and chatting with everyone in line. After 4 hours, you become tight with total strangers. Don't believe me? See '24' post.

It was great to be in a theater where everyone was screaming for the characters and making it a great time.

Having said that...I know one needs to suspend reality and lower expectations for a movie based on a book. Apparently I needed to put reality into a morphine-induced coma. The movie felt to me like an odd Saturday Night Live parody of my favorite books. Therefore, I would petition for a new screenwriter, a new director, and a bigger budget for the next movies in the series. And me in charge of wardrobing. Duh.

I am, however, suspending final judgement until I see it again later this week sans the screaming, over excited crowd and the Monster drink buzz. THEN we'll see if Jasper's expressions were really as goofy as I thought, if Bella could get a sentence out fluidly without all the sticatto, if Edward ACTUALLY HELD HIS NOSE in biology, if I could actually buy their affection for each other... See? This may be the sleep-deprived zombie speaking. Ok. Re-reading that, I sound really critical. Sorry. Still love Twilight. Wahoo. Giving it a second shot. Doing my part to contribute to the $70 million opening...

Marathon Training

One would assume that it kindof stinks to train for a big race when you're sleep deprived. And nutrionally unbalanced...I think I ate minicorndogs and sweet potatoe french fries with M&M cookie chasers for dinner last night.

Having said that, it's apparently the right combination for me. I ran further and faster today than I have on other long runs. 16 miles down...only 10.2 to go! What makes me extra awesome? I managed to do it on a treadmill...without going insane. Then again, having a FABULOUS playlist to motivate doesn't hurt either...

24...My Robert Pattinson Experience

So I met Robert Pattinson. In case you don't know (how could you not?...you are dead to me), he is the actor who plays Edward Cullen in the Twilight movie.

...Although it didn't go down quite as simply as that. It was a little bit more like an episode from 24...sans the action and violence...wait. There was some of that, too. But more in a teenage bravado kind of way.

Monday...

6:00 pm: say sianara to the family and hello mom as we drive down to the Galleria "Hot Topic" store (the anti-JCREW) to find out more about what we need to do to meet Robert Pattinson (RP).

7:00 pm: find out that we need to stay off mall property until 6 am and that it will be an orderly procession, things should run smoothly cuz "no one wants another San Francisco". Whatever. A) toughen up, buttercup and B) shut up you big liar cuz it was a FIASCO.

8:00 pm: shop, cuz, duh, we're in one of the biggest malls around. Who doesn't love Banana Republic when mom's buyin? Meet some of the cutest Twilight junkies ever - remember how cute 21 is? - and exchange digits to keep in touch over the night.

9:00 pm: mall's closing... Go to logical parking lot to park for the 'event' where we run into Nina and Meghan, twilight girls from Banana Republic, who are sleeping/hanging out in their car for the long haul. They say they'll text when they see groups forming. Head back to the Marriott cuz my husband's a ROCKSTAR and sets me up like that.

10:00 pm: we do a little recoinassance. Figure out where to park, where lines might form, etc. Bring N and M some cookies and apples (cuz Twilight cover? ha ha ha).

11:00 pm: Go back to hotel to wash up and try to sleep but can't. Lay down.

12:00 am: get text that N and M are getting in line and a couple of other Tweaks have shown up. Get out of bed. Freshen up (code for put make up back on...it's a public service for all the people that will have to see me). My mom insists on coming with me after I ask her to stay and sleep.

1:00 am: been in line 30 minutes. Am I really gonna do this all night? My mom stays in the car cuz it's the only humane thing to do for an almost 80 year old woman. Total Cheers moment? When I got there there were 25/30 people in line. My new BFFs, who are in front, call me out to go to the front with them. Sigh. Now I have 4 friends: Nina, Meghan, Holle, and Mallory. Made my day. They told me that I was the coolest mom they'd ever met. They like me? They really like me? So high school of me, but they're AWESOME girls.

2:00 am: line. Good thing I brought that Monster drink. And committed a fashion crime by wearing running shoes with jeans. Really second-guessing the sanity of my decision-making processes. What the heck am I doing? Help one of my new BFFs study for an exam she has at 10 am.

3:00 am: line. I tell N and M that they can shower at our hotel when the whole thing is over. Get stumped in Twilight trivia. I know. Never thought I'd see the day either.

4:00 am: line...I could have a master's in line-waiting by now. Police talk to the 'crowds' that have gathered (800 people or so?). Describe how things will proceed. If anyone passes police, they will be escorted off property, arrested, blah blah blah (yes, my inner and very rebellious teenager is officially out to play!).

5:00 am: line...crowd starts to get unruly. Did I mention that I've been standing in sheeting rain for 40 minutes? We're in the front. We'll follow the 'rules' and surely we'll get tix with no problem...aka false optimism.

5:30 am: police come over to 'escort' people to the line form area. Pandamonium breaks out and there's a mad dash for the cue space. All rules broken. Police not caring. Crushing force. Good thing I'm not dainty. I can't breathe, and strangers are touching me. A big no-no.

6:00 am: police declare that if people are standing in the area behind him, like I was, there was no way they were getting a ticket. Go home. What the...? Um, no. I am 'going-to-catch-pneumonia-SOAKING-wet'. I did NOT just endure that and do what was asked for that result. So, never one to take 'no' for an answer, I left my place and found one of the police officers who I'd chatted with back in line at...oh...3 am. He told me sorry no way blah blah blah. Um, not acceptable. I dodged a barrier, snuck by security, and went to another officer close to the front. Who had to recognize me. For goodness' sakes I was one of the oldest people there. Sure to stand out! He did. I plead my case. Hard. And apparently, persuasively. He had to ask some other guy to whom I had to plead my case. Harder. More persuasively. He smiled, rolled his eyes and tugged me into the ticket line where I got my pass!! Number 497 of 500. But two of my four new BFFs didn't get in...awash in guilt.

7:00 am: line for bracelets now. The bracelets that let you get exclusive t-shirt and rights to stand in another line later that night to meet RP.

8:00 am: line. Avoiding news cameras at all costs. It's one thing for my friends to know what a nut job I am...it's another thing entirely for people who don't know me that well to see me on TV doing this.

9:00 am: just got into Hot Topic (despicable place - no argyle) and got directions, t-shirts, and the all-important wristband. Ready to meet mom and down-trodden N and M. Makes more sense to get them showers at the Lifetime gym close by. So, they follow me there.

10:00 am: dead on my feet. But I have a whole day at a mall without my kids before more waiting to meet RP. I can sleep when I'm dead. I shower and get ready to hit the mall.

11:00 am: shop in delerium.

12:00 am: shop.

1:00 pm: shop.

2:00 pm: finally eat some real food.

3:00 pm: shop. Not even sure I enjoy shopping anymore. Run into N and M...they bought wristbands from scalpers. They can go! This makes my day, and I'm very happy for them. They did drive all the way up from San Antonio after all.

4:00 pm: shop. Think about the line that is probably forming...again.

5:00 pm: vanitiy strikes. Find a Nordstrom. Apply make up...paying particular attention to under-eye concealer and eye drops. Head down to the line cue. Where they said they would put people in numerical order. Liars. First come, first served. Lame. I can't STAND when people don't do what they say they're gonna do. But, as they say...fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

6:00 pm: line.

7:00 pm: line. I officially have a PhD in line-waiting. Can't wait for another line for the midnight showing next week. At least I'll know what to bring to occupy our time.

7:16 pm: meet Robert Pattinson. Smile, ask if we're his oldest fans. No, he didn't think so. Answered a question for my mom. He smiles a DAZZLING (to quote) smile and signs the designated event poster for each of us. That's it. He's WAY cuter than any of the pix are giving him credit for. He wasn't wearing a hat. He seemed pleasant and friendly if not a little funny for being the center of all this crazy atttention.

7:17 pm: happy to have met him. Sorry for hindsight being 20/20 and not bringing him a cool gift like a hat (the kind I wear, not his kind). Sorry for being too tired to really care.

7:30 pm: headed home.

Oh, Yeah, I Cut Calvin's Hair

So, I cut the bushy hair. Not well, mind you, but I cut it. Here's some before and after pix:

So, admittedly, I'm impulsive. I wanted to cut it off...right then. I forgot to put the guard on. Ergo the humongous chunk missing in the back. No more making fun of Jon.

Calvinize

Not more than 5 minutes ago...

I heard the door to the garage from the house beep. What in the world? Hmmm. Where's Calvin??? Low and behold, he'd snuck out to the fridge we keep in the garage to raid the candy stash. He'd been out there for who knows how long eating candy to his heart's content. Needless to say, he left a pile of evidence. Sneaky little thing!!!

Family Pics

As many of you know, I'm not one for capturing life's moments - special or otherwise - on film. Which is one of the reasons I'm yet to post on my super duper girlie trip to Virginia...I didn't have the sense to take my own pics!!! It's not that I don't want to...it's just that...I dunno. I think I'm too spacey? Or my camera is terrible? Also, historically speaking, I'm not one to capture WHAT life's moments - special or otherwise - have done to my appearance. So, doing family pictures with a professional was a biggie for me. But pictures we did. And it was a blast. Our photographer was great with our kids - very raw material given their relative lack of experience in front of the camera. They did well, and Brian was a miracle worker. He's letting me post a couple from the shoot for your purusal...there's a couple more up on his blog as well. I hope you enjoy...and that the fun we had today shines through. Even in the one where none of the kids are smiling.

Soliciting Suggestions

You know how when you're humiliated in the grocery store when your child is throwing a tantrum and there's always an older woman there ready to offer advice? I actually don't...very much. My friends tell me about the nerve of some people to butt in, etc.

One of the first things I picked up as a parent is "avoid eye contact" in public places. Plus, I think after years of being married to MY husband, I have mastered a look that screams "don't even think about talking to me right now."

Having said ALL that, I'm soliciting unsolicited advice for two things:

1) I really, REALLY need to find another good book, preferably series, so that I will stop hearing vampire voices in my head, and

2) I really need to hear from the mommy crowd with kids in school. I'm finding it increasingly more difficult to carve out one-on-one time with each of my kids on a daily basis (prior to bedtime). There's just SO MUCH STUFF! What are you guys doing?

Twilight Party

Check out these shirts!!! La Tua Cantante!!!! I know you hate the props, Angela, but you really are incredibly creative!

Here's some pix from the respectably-sized gathering of moms who obsess about the Twilight series...along with a couple of brave souls who came despite not having read the books. Jessie... Elaine, you're brave women. About 22? 23 people showed up? Not too bad a turn out, I thought. My only disappointment was that I (me, me, me, me, me) didn't get to pose any of my discussion points as a group. Why? I think I scared everyone with my trivia questions. Apparently, I am paying WAY too close attention. Doesn't EVERYONE remember the names of the three vampires that Jasper met on his way back from Houston, TX around 1861? ANYWAY...it was a lot of fun. My GREAT friends, Angela and Jenn, came up from Austin for the fun and to spend the night (and to shop at Sam Moon the following day). It reminded me of the pity parties back in VA when Jon would travel... Playlist for this party can be found to your right. Of course, it's a work in progress as I'm contstantly playing with it. Who knew whiney rock could be so much fun!

Enough About You, Let's Talk About Me

Maybe it's the time of year...argyle is sprouting up next to the long sleeve, ruffle neck button ups. Jeans yawn and stretch from a long summer's nap. Cardies are getting a little fresh air - even if it's just over a tank top at this point in the season. Cashmere needs a little more cultivation, but it, too, will be ripe soon. Even in Texas. (For a more poetic, less-fashiony description of autumn, check out Samantha.) And I, too, feel like I want a change. I did this last year (almost to the date check out last year's whine fest) but decided to play it safe as 'long hair girl' (coined from my dear ReBecca, who happens to be an AMAZING hair person). Alas, my two regular readers, it's time for me to whine about my hair. I don't have time to redesign my look with the celebrity hair tool off to the right, but of course I have time to post this fabulous picture of Gwyneth Paltrow's haircut that I love and am considering. What do you think???? She has small eyes, I have small eyes. She has a not quite dainty nose. I have a less than dainty nose (ask me about all my Biggest Loser comments...random person: "has anyone ever told you that you look like someone on the Biggest Loser?" me [never having watched the show assume that they're talking about a contestant and am less than flattered]: "um, yeah...and I'm not sure it's a compliment." Then I google her and see the similarity - she got quite the sniffer...hmmm...maybe I should add THAT to my frankenstein list. Hopefully it's not the Jersey girl that just EMINATES from this Jillian that makes people think of me.). Anyway, back to Gwyneth. She gettin' the mommy eyes. I've got mommy eyes in SPADES. Therefore, I wonder if this cut would be good for me. Weigh in. Comment. Vote on the poll (it's anonymous) to your right. Feedback!!! I can barely decide what food to order in a restaurant...Anna? ReBecca? Ladayz????

It's a Good Thing...

Oh My GOSH!!! It's a good thing I don't swear - the kids would've gotten an EARFUL this morning. We were borrowing my dad's car - you know the kind...door handles that 2 year olds can reach because they're in a booster instead of their regular car seat cuz I don't know how to properly reinstall said carseat - and I was taking the kids to school. Low and behold I felt a strange gust of wind the same time the display showed that A DOOR IS OPEN. Calvin opened one of the car doors as I sped my way to a tardy slip. Mackey's quick reactions and cool thinking saved the day (cooler than mine). He climbed over to shut the door without prompting or remark (action without commentary is almost unheard of around here). Calvin is just becoming THAT kid. Sunday, he drew all over my mom's cream leather sofas. Yesterday he drew on my window sills. He hits his sibs and laughs. He drips food on the dog. He's a darling little menace...politely ferocious.

UGH! The scary thing? This isn't the first time a car door flew open mid drive. When Lucy was 2 (what IS it with 2 year olds?!), we brought her to Italy. I was toodling around a corner Rome when the door flew open, and my mom grabbed Lucy. Sooo, by my calculations, that leaves Mackey...

Questionable Judgement Strikes Again

I'm already aware that I'm not winning any MOTY (Mother of the Year) awards...however, had I been in the running, this video evidencing my 2 year old's obsession for his favorite tv show would've tanked me. He's TWO. The only reason we even watch this anymore (after an ill-fated ban of my design) is that JON likes the show.

For all you Ben-Tenners out there, rock on....says Calvin.

Man Card and Jon Has a Way With the Ladies

Because Jon was soooo curious about what in the world I was reading so obsessively - ok, am STILL reading so obsessively - he picked up Twilight...and read the whole series. Because he's Jon, though, and can build a house from duct tape and splinters and has huge muscles, he gets to keep his man card. It's nice to speak conversantly with him about topics such as...oh...Edward's leaving and Jacob's complicating. High priority stuff. Although he didn't cry in New Moon, so I'm not actually sure he read that one...

Perhaps Jon's reading Twilight makes him particularly tantalizing to the Ladayz. We were at a humongous church meeting today where Elder Uchtdorf spoke - and yes, he's dreamy; he spoke about fashion for a moment (sold! he's my new favorite!). While we were waiting, this older woman approached me and started giving me the Spanish Inquisition:

"What's your name?" "What's your husband's name?" "What ward (congregation) are you in?" "Are you new to the area?" So, I finally asked her what I could help her with.

It turns out she's in charge of a Book of Mormon live story thingy (a pageant?) in this area, and she thought Jon would be a GREAT character. To quote: "Your husband would be perfect! He's so big and strong! I saw your husband walk in and I gasped and had to find him!" To which, I responded that I do the same thing. Gasping that is.

Jon is, of course, rolling his eyes. So, he keeps his man card.

Foot in Mouth Disease and My 10 AM Appointment

Ok...I was NOT casting my line out on a fishing expedition by remarking on the lack of response to the tune up. I'm so hideously embarrassed that that may be how it was construed. AGH! I just thought it was so funny and ironic, and I expected my friends to call me out. I'm all about the 180: plastic surgery, Twilight...I just eat humble pie...well, after I pry my foot free.

ANYWAY...so here's the lowdown on today's appointment...

It's an experience in polite personal humiliation. I had to show a good-looking stranger the things about myself that I would NEVER show anyone else. So, yada yada yada: $15,000 for the full frankenstein. Please, please lemme hear someone else's jaw drop. That's like...a car?! So, this is what ELSE you could get for that price tag...