There are just a couple of rules in our home regarding food/dining. Most center on 'good' table manners (relative to barnyard animals): stay in your seat, ask to be excused, http://www.rudebusters.com/etikid.htm. However, there are two other important rules not to be ignored.
The first is the "no-touching-Daddy-during-dinner" rule. The origin of this rule stems back to an Italian restaurant (read: red sauce restaurant) we used to frequent in Rockville, MD...Jon (aged 32 at the time) was distinctly overheard saying to our then 3 year old Lucy (think Bill Cosby): "Will you stop touching me?! Will you stop touching me?! This is an invisible line. That is your side. This is my side. Stay on your side." Soon followed by: "What?! She was touching me!"
The second, more dubious rule is the "no-corn-for-Calvin" rule. If disregarded, dire consequences are sure to follow. The origin of this rule is clearly etched into the family memory because it is said that smell is the sense most closely linked to memory http://pr.caltech.edu/periodicals/336/articles/Volume%205/02-10-05/memory.html. Because it is a shelled vegetable, it is a little bit harder for little tummies to digest. That digestive difficulty is NOT to be confused with difficulty in...um...expelling. Happy that at least one of my children was eating his vegetables, I loaded him up on corn. The HORROR! The HORROR! Never in my life will I forget that smell. So stinky was that child that I'm pretty sure that my children's children won't taste corn until they can use the potty themselves. Any important rules in your house? C'mon Allie, I know you've got something.
5 comments:
Oh, sadly, I do have some tales of woe from experiments in feeding my children that have gone terribly wrong. If you have a constipated one year old who has barely moved beyond the realm of formula, 7 ounces of straight prune juice goes further than just alleviating constipation. Here is the result of my well-intentioned experimental therapy: baby+7ozPruneJuice=MomInHazmatGear/BabyInTubWithMuchScrubbing/4LoadsOfDirtyLaundry
Let's just say my hypothesis was way off. This is why I majored in English and not in Science. As for manners, my children are hooligans. Our thrilling current joy is Zack spouting his drink like a fountain from his mouth at the dinner table. We are also dealing with Maddie refusing to eat with us, or even sit at the table with us, which ended up nixing her bedtime story last night. Andrew is like Mr. Monk and cannot bear any of his food items to touch. Good luck with your kids!
When I view my comment it appears much of the latter half of my equation is cut off. In case you can't read it either, I will let you know that the missing words following Baby In Tub are "with much scrubbing and 4 new loads of laundry."
We obviously have too many rules for my kids to follow at the dinner table, because they can't remember the basic three -
#1. I don't want to see your food, in any state of chewing, after it's entered your mouth. Period.
#2. Please sit your BOTTOM on your chair - do NOT ride it side saddle with one leg hanging in limbo, do NOT sit facing the television, which isn't on, nor will ever be on during dinner.#3 (My big favorite) Please eat over your plate - thus preventing 98.9% of all serious laundry catastropes as well as keeping the floor from looking like someone exploded their entrails on it every night.
I wish I could say I have rules. My only rule right now is eat or be gone. Actually that's just Sam. Jonah is much better and I hope that Sam will one day follow. Right now Jonah is working on eating everything over the table/plate. It usually looks like I just dumped a bag of crushed chips on the floor when he's done eating. Also, he has to ask to be excused, that way we stop the peter rabbit syndrome of getting up and down....and making sure that hands and faces are washed is Chris' big thing so they don't destroy the house. Honestly, I would just be happy if I could think of something great and healthy for them to eat and then have them actually eat it!
You write very well.
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