Irreverent: Breast Augmentation...read at your own risk

My husband is trying to convince me that it's just because I spend so much time at the gym that I think everything is bigger in TX...that the gym and it's country club-esque pool isn't representative of the general population. And by everything in TX, I really mean the boobs. Apparently, there are only three sizes to choose from for breast augmentation: 1) please fill out what all those babies took away from me; 2) porn star; and 3) Texas-size. I don't mean to be indelicate, but you just can't miss it down here (but I totally appreciate my husband's trying to!). All up north where they belong, too! **Sigh** For those of you who enjoy a 'story with pictures', you'll be disappointed in this blog. I don't quite have the nerve to say, "excuse me, are those real and can I post those on my blog?" Please feel free to weigh in...
http://health.learninginfo.org/breast-implant.htm

Showing Off the Kiddos...

Ok, in the least braggy way possible...does Lucy look like a famous actress in this picture? I don't want to lead you, but I totally thought so. Any guesses who I'm thinking? Comments?
Also, check out Mackey sportin' "the Logan" haircut (after an Ashburn friend that Mackey thinks is the coolest). "Logan-izing" helps us to get Mackey to do a lot of things...well, getting him to do a lot of anything is a bit of a reach, but you know what I mean.

And Calvin...whose hair I will NOT cut. Nope. Sorry, Jon. You may as well start calling him Sampson now (and you KNOW what they said about the hussie who made him cut HIS hair)...or Goldilocks. Whatever suits you. Goldilocks because when Mackey was little(r) and had all of HIS golden ringlets, people would tell me what pretty little girls I had. It didn't bother me, so I just said, "thanks!" This did NOT fly with the dad-inator, though.

Anyway, check out back to school cuts!

McFishlays in San Antonio

Do you know what is great?








When you can go years without seeing people and pick up right where you left off. I LOVE that. We got to see our friends, Alex and Mary Kathryn (MK), and their 2 lovely little girls...(who aren't to be confused with my 2 handsome little boys dressed in drag - I kept trying to convey to Alex that this is what happens when you have a girl before a boy - that it's normal. Friends, please weigh in on this one). We had such a great time, and MK, like Angela, probably got more than an earful of girly gab; it's like I save up my words for a monthly download. You'd think a blog would be enough!

A few words about the McKinlays...they are friends of ours from our days in Rockville, MD http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Don. We haven't seen them in 3-4 years since they started residency in SA. As an aside, Alex can take sole responsibility for my over-use of the words 'legit' and 'how we roll'. In his defense, I think my then three year old Lucy introduced them to "ghetto" in specific reference to her stroller that fell apart in Italy.

They have two of the funniest kids ever. Halle, their two year old, loves to 'accessorize'; I didn't even see her whole face until we'd been there overnight because she loves her sunglasses. And her favorite phrase for most things? "No money." Isabel, who is four, is a character on par with her cohort, Mackey. Favorite moment: when she seranaded us to her rendition of "Ridin' Dirty".

We had a great time hangin' out, checking out SA, playing at the park, and eating at the "worst BBQ in Texas"...

And, since the McKinlay's didn't want to be shown up by the VanderWerkens after the Vanderblog, they got a sitter for Saturday night. We went to the River Walk and did a drive by at the Alamo. Most awkwardly memorable moments about the River Walk...we went to what one would (did you see all the 'w's in that phrase?) presume to be a premier restaurant on the Walk: The Iron Cactus http://www.ironcactus.com/san_antonio.asp. We waited so long for food - over an hour - that we actually considered walking out. Right as we were planning our exit strategy - cuz the dine and dash (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dine_and_dash) is so naughty-naughty high school (I had too much guilt to ever do that anyway...), the food came with nary an explanation...and cold. Didn't these people know we had a sitter?! After working out what to say, Alex pulled the manager aside to discuss how the manager should compensate us for our time and work on our future business - with much aplumb and directness I might add. It gave us something to talk about and gave our SA trip some (more) character.

Jon with his hands full...

Mackey with his hands full...

Lucy with her mouth full...

It was a blast!!! We are very fortunate to have great friends in Texas as we are still trying to find our place here. Hope to hang again soon...PS: McKinlays...if I told you that the VanderWerkens were coming up next week, would it get you to come visit some time, too???

(picture NOT representative of trip...).

Crack...(Berry)

I post this at the sacrifice of other entries that will probably go unread. But I couldn't let this one go. Please hit link or give it to someone you care about who has the same addiction as my husband. There's help. Admitting you have a problem is half the battle. http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/couplesandmarriage/articletkt.aspx?cp-documentid=3532049.

Law Enforcement/Peace Keeper

The nicest thing happened to the kids and me today at the DMV. As we all know: nicest thing and DMV are concepts that are usually mutually exclusive. However, not today. I was going into the DMV with the very special three ring circus that is us when a kind police officer helped Mackey open the door for us. And when I say 'us', I mean us sans Jon. We all (not a y'all kind of we all...yet) thanked him and went to stand in line for a ticket to stand in another line. The ticket issued to us was #161. On the screen, they are serving #132. Hyperventilating just a little, I set the posse down and start filling out paperwork. As I finish up, the police officer catches my eye and beckons me over. Of course, I'm thinking: "wow, officer, my kids haven't even begun..." Alas, no, he puts us in the front of the line with a nod and a smile. Talk about keeping the peace...which is nice because it mitigates my experience with the other police officer last week who issued me a big, fat, texas-sized speeding ticket.

360 degrees

Before I post on our fantabulous visit to San Antonio, I have to tell you about our housing contract. You will NOT believe this...we're pulling out for SA just having faxed over some real estate documentation moving forward with the sale. A few hours into our drive, our agent calls to inform us that THE BUYER IS BACKING OUT. Um...WHAT?!
It's cool, though. Twelve hours later we had a new contract. But UGH - that is NOT how you want to start a road trip!

No Corn for Calvin and Other Important Rules

There are just a couple of rules in our home regarding food/dining. Most center on 'good' table manners (relative to barnyard animals): stay in your seat, ask to be excused, http://www.rudebusters.com/etikid.htm. However, there are two other important rules not to be ignored.

The first is the "no-touching-Daddy-during-dinner" rule. The origin of this rule stems back to an Italian restaurant (read: red sauce restaurant) we used to frequent in Rockville, MD...Jon (aged 32 at the time) was distinctly overheard saying to our then 3 year old Lucy (think Bill Cosby): "Will you stop touching me?! Will you stop touching me?! This is an invisible line. That is your side. This is my side. Stay on your side." Soon followed by: "What?! She was touching me!"

The second, more dubious rule is the "no-corn-for-Calvin" rule. If disregarded, dire consequences are sure to follow. The origin of this rule is clearly etched into the family memory because it is said that smell is the sense most closely linked to memory http://pr.caltech.edu/periodicals/336/articles/Volume%205/02-10-05/memory.html. Because it is a shelled vegetable, it is a little bit harder for little tummies to digest. That digestive difficulty is NOT to be confused with difficulty in...um...expelling. Happy that at least one of my children was eating his vegetables, I loaded him up on corn. The HORROR! The HORROR! Never in my life will I forget that smell. So stinky was that child that I'm pretty sure that my children's children won't taste corn until they can use the potty themselves. Any important rules in your house? C'mon Allie, I know you've got something.