It Never Ends with This Kid

I only share this, not because I'm partial; but because I almost drove off the road today laughing so hard I was crying.

One of Calvin's favorite things to do is heckle Jon. Seriously. It doesn't work on me because I'm too cool for it. But Jon? Well, he's an easy tease...youngest of 7 and all. So Calvin's in his seat about 2 hours into our return trip when he loses interest in the movie and focuses on Jon.

Calvin: "Daaaaaadddddy. Dad. Dad. Dad. Daaaaaaaadddddddddyyyyyyyyy. Yooo-hooo."

Jon: "What, Calvin?"

Calvin: "Look. See, Daddy? Look what I can do. I lick my toes. Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Puts filthy toes in his mouth.

Jon: "That's disgusting! Rachael! He's making out back there with his feet!!!"

Calvin (sensing he can juice Jon for hours of entertainment): "Daaaaaaaaddddddddyyyyyy! Look! I lick my toes! Mmmmmmm! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!"

Jon: "Rachael...make him stop!"

Jon just reminded me about this one. We can't quite verify it's truthiness (props to Colbert) or not (it could just be the Burn Notice stuck in my head), but we think we heard him say the following:

Mackey was pestering the heck out of Calvin. Which, frankly, is unusual. Pestering definitely flows upstream in our house. That's probably why Calvin was particularly perturbed by the whole thing. But that's besides the point. So, Mackey's just punkin' Calvin. And we think, although we have NO IDEA where he would have heard this phrase (seriously), Calvin goes, "Mackey! Stop it or I will rain down hell on you!" In his defense, Calvin sounds like Lil Cheney (see above video...and don't judge me). His pronunciation is sloppy and his diction, terrible. The other, and more likely, alternative: "Mackey! Stop it or I will play tell on you!" You be the judge.

Needless to say, Calvin has kept us on our toes all weekend.