I CANNOT Believe My Kids

The fruit of MY loins? Not with stuff this good.

So, we are completing the 3rd week of our summer vacation. As you can imagine, it has been busy and fun and relaxing and frought with peril. The froughtness with peril came to a proverbial head at our neighborhood pool the other day. We had met the Hawkins there to swim, and my kids just weren't groovin. We had to leave the pool much earlier than anticipated as well as listen to my pontificating on the finer points of civility with the final nail being an early bedtime for all. In the aftermath, our family had a calm discussion about what we can each and all work on to prevent further summertime peril. Up to and including letting my sleep in past 6 am.

Fast forward to the next day. I woke up (early) to them telling me that they were going to let me sleep in. Ok. 9 am I roll back out of bed. Nice. As were pulling out of the garage, I commented about how we'd forgotten family prayer that morning. Lucy says: "We didn't! Mackey and I had our own morning prayer and read in the scriptures together this morning." Me (cough...sputter). Lucy: "We figured out Operation Truce and how we can get along better and help you more." Me (more cough and sputter). So far, so good. Squabbles are handled more efficiently and calmly. There has been a better spirit in our home. Wow. All I can say is "Wow".

Which brings me to my next bragging point. Mackey lost his first tooth tonight with a babysitter while Jon and I were out on a date! She texted me about the whole thing! So we got home, and Jon went up to make sure the toothfairy was alive and kickin (nod, nod, wink, wink)...and lo and behold, of her own accord, LUCY HAD PUT $2.50 UNDER HIS PILLOW. What?! What to my wondering eyes should appear but a brother and sister who've grown to endear. Lucy is a sweet girl, with a 3rd grade big sister streak, but that has GOT to be the most tender thing I've ever seen. I am just so proud of them!!!

http://www.runnersworld.com/cda/racefinderdetail/1,,s6-239-283-284-0-0-0-0-1897822,00.html

http://www.runnersworld.com/cda/racefinderdetail/1,,s6-239-283-284-0-0-0-0-1897822,00.html

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It Never Ends with This Kid

I only share this, not because I'm partial; but because I almost drove off the road today laughing so hard I was crying.

One of Calvin's favorite things to do is heckle Jon. Seriously. It doesn't work on me because I'm too cool for it. But Jon? Well, he's an easy tease...youngest of 7 and all. So Calvin's in his seat about 2 hours into our return trip when he loses interest in the movie and focuses on Jon.

Calvin: "Daaaaaadddddy. Dad. Dad. Dad. Daaaaaaaadddddddddyyyyyyyyy. Yooo-hooo."

Jon: "What, Calvin?"

Calvin: "Look. See, Daddy? Look what I can do. I lick my toes. Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Puts filthy toes in his mouth.

Jon: "That's disgusting! Rachael! He's making out back there with his feet!!!"

Calvin (sensing he can juice Jon for hours of entertainment): "Daaaaaaaaddddddddyyyyyy! Look! I lick my toes! Mmmmmmm! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!"

Jon: "Rachael...make him stop!"

Jon just reminded me about this one. We can't quite verify it's truthiness (props to Colbert) or not (it could just be the Burn Notice stuck in my head), but we think we heard him say the following:

Mackey was pestering the heck out of Calvin. Which, frankly, is unusual. Pestering definitely flows upstream in our house. That's probably why Calvin was particularly perturbed by the whole thing. But that's besides the point. So, Mackey's just punkin' Calvin. And we think, although we have NO IDEA where he would have heard this phrase (seriously), Calvin goes, "Mackey! Stop it or I will rain down hell on you!" In his defense, Calvin sounds like Lil Cheney (see above video...and don't judge me). His pronunciation is sloppy and his diction, terrible. The other, and more likely, alternative: "Mackey! Stop it or I will play tell on you!" You be the judge.

Needless to say, Calvin has kept us on our toes all weekend.

Calvinables or Calvin Quotables

At my husband's prompting, I am writing this most recent segment about things that Calvin aka 'The Three Year Old' says. This is a sampling from today.

In prayers:

"Thank you, Iron Man, for keeping us safe."

"Thank you for Iron Man."

"Thank you, Jesus, for guns."

In conversation:

"Oh yeah, baby, it's on."

By the way, this is the same husband who astutely noted that in the morning I communicate by grunting; and in the evening, I communicate by sighing. I need to remember how great he is when I'm tempted to extort him with expensive purses.

Nah.

Overheard in my House

In the past 2 minutes, I have overheard the following:

1) Setting: Mackey and his friend, Mason, are playing upstairs.

Mason: "This is getting boring."

Mackey (with alarm): "DON'T LET MY MOM HEAR YOU SAY THAT! She'll make you do chores."

2) Setting: Jon is opening a package that UPS just dropped off.

Jon: "...but where's the ammunition?"

It is never, ever boring at my house. Here comes Lucy and her friend soaking wet. This should be interesting...