Stupid M&Ms

It's a good thing I don't drink. Cuz I'd be an alchie fo sho. As it stands, I'm an M&M-ie.

I just threw away a partially...ok, mostly...finished bag of M&Ms. Not in the bag. Cuz I might go all George Castanza on it. No, I emptied out the contents into the trash can containing unsavory diapers so as not to be tempted.

Luciella Bella

I've gotten so accustomed to Lucy's awesomeness that sometimes I overlook it. I totally take her independence, intelligence, and responsibility for granted. These are her latest, most massively impressive feats:

1) This morning, Lucy was telling me about a boy in her class who teases her when she goofs up something or has a clumsy moment (by her own admission gives him plenty of opportunity). She told me that it embarrasses her. We discussed several different ways of handling the situation; one being a direct approach. The one major roadblock to addressing him privately is that he ALWAYS hangs out with this other boy. If she asked to speak to Adam in private, she feared the whole 3rd grade assumption of romance. As she got of the car for school, I wasn't sure what, if anything, she'd decided to do.

After school, she was telling me about her day.

Lucy: "oh yeah, I talked to Adam today. It was no big deal. He won't bother me anymore."

Me: OH MY GOSH!!! What a brave girl I have!!! "WOW! Tell me about it!"

Lucy: "I just asked him if I could talk to him before recess in private. I asked him if he knows how he teases me when I trip and stuff. He said 'yeah'. I just told him that it embarassed me and asked him to please stop. He said 'ok'. Can I make some Chinese food?"

She's amazing. That takes guts. She's just awesome. She's one of those kids that doesn't need 'the crowd'. Not yet, at least. And I sure hope it stays that way.

Next.

2) Chinese food. She has this culture report that she needs to have the food for in school tomorrow. As I'm flying solo and up to my eyeballs in whiney boys, we talked about recipes that she could do on her own. She picked one out. We picked up the extra ingredients. And...THAT KID MADE COCONUT RICE. ALL ON HER OWN. Stove top, measuring, the whole nine yards. I'm not 100% sure I'd done something like that in college, let alone elementary.

She's just pure awesomeness.

Party in My Bathroom

My morning started with a party. A Star Wars party. In my bathroom.

As I was getting ready for the day, Calvin made an evasive move into my bathroom:

Calvin: "Mom! Darth Vadar out dare!"

Me: "This early in the morning?"

Calvin: "Mom! Goo guys out dare, too!"

Me: "They must be really tired."

Calvin: "We have to save them!"

Me: "Okee dokee, artichokee."

Next thing I know, the little boy who scandalously picks his nose, snickers as he burps, and farts for laughs was cordially (where did the sense of urgency go?!) inviting his imaginary Star Wars friends into our secret hide out. The funniest thing? He looked at me rather impatiently when I didn't formally greet our 'guests'...because acknowledgement of the rebel forces clearly wasn't enough.

Calvin: "Mom, this is Rex."

Me: "Hi, Rex."

Calvin (looking rather expectantly at me)...

Me: "Nice to meet you, Rex."

...and so on to the rest of the forces.

The saga continued into my shopping foray as well. We went to The Rack where Calvin rattled on and on and on (which is really endearing) about how he would be build me a ship with the help of Rex and Ben 10 (sometimes we combine our overly violent cartoons) and escape the Null Void...much to the entertainment of all the ladies around us.

Abort Mission!

I ran into a friend at church yesterday who asked me why I hadn't posted in a while. I'd responded that Facebook makes me lazy...and uncreative. It also robs me of my forum for blowing off parenting steam. (But it totally satisfies my adult onset ADD...).

True to form, lest this be considered among the 'my family is so perfect, come read about them' blogs, I am ranting and soliciting...

With summer lurking around the corner...do you love how it 'lurks' these days as oppposed to 'approaches'?...I'm afraid. My kids fight more than I can stand. Mackey needs an anger management course - I wonder if Jack Nicholson is available? Seriously? I almost sent this kid to school in his underwear cuz he was freakin out so hard about getting dressed. Getting them to do chores effectively and efficiently is taking years off my life (but don't worry, I hate housework too much to cave).

I stumbled upon a great little parenting blog through my local newspaper that promises quick parenting tips or, in my case, reminders.

Please. Wish me luck...and ideas if you have them. Remember, I didn't grow up with siblings. So, I'm WOEFULLY lacking in practical experience.

Starter Kit Style Essentials

Be forgiving...my mojo is a little off since my head wasn't 100% in the game. As always, dear friends near and far, any style questions you can pose would be greatly appreciated. And, btw? Love the Big Star jeans...in a darker rinse.

Since last week focused more on ‘please do nots’, this week’s advice centers around the ‘please dos’ of four style essentials. There are certain things a woman’s closet is naked without: a great pair of jeans, a white shirt (or two), a little black dress, and a car coat. For starters. Having these ‘tools’ at your wardrobing disposal will build a great foundation for you (and your closet).
Jeans: find a pair of boot cut jeans in a dark rinse with 1-3% spandex long enough that you cannot see your ankle bones (longer with heels). Make sure the back pockets are relatively big, centered closer to the middle seam vs. the side seams, and a little lower on your toosh. Trust me. It’s a backside miracle if you’re looking to minimize. Flap pockets help balance out a hiney that’s flatter than Nebraska.
White shirt: For t-shirts, get cotton with a little bit of stretch. If you like 100% cotton, the ‘perfect fit’ t-shirt at JCrew has micro-ribs that keep its shape. I personally prefer a ballet (boat) neck with three quarter sleeves. For blouses, go tailored with three quarter or long sleeves, buttons down the front, and a crisp collar. Again, personal preference, I like a mandarin collar with subtle detail for flair.
Little black dress: this is me in a rare cave to social pressure. I don’t much care for black, but it is versatile. A well-tailored sheath dress in a structured fabric is good for straighter figures or an a-line in a variety of fabrics if you’re dressing curves. My favorite black dress is stretchy wool with short sleeves and a subtle cowl neck. I don’t wear it a ton, but I’m glad it’s in my closet when I need it.
Car coat: this is a nice way of saying you need good outer wear so as not to spoil your outfit. Consider length, material, color, and lapel when purchasing a coat. A good length for petites is upper mid-thigh and longer for their taller counter-parts. Wool always looks nice, and mercerized cotton is a great alternative for warmer weather or layering. While I prefer camel or navy, black is a perfect basic. Lastly, decide if you prefer a coat that buttons all the way up or a notched lapel.
No one wants a naked closet, so wear this instead.

Why Calvin Will Collect Unemployment

Calvin is officially out of a job. His little, 2 year old responsibility in our house was to feed our dog, Berkeley. Today has been a sad day for our family and probably the beginning of a sad week: Berkeley was euthanized today. We pulled the kids out of school early after the vet called to inform us he was doing worse with treatment and that we should consider 'other options'. Like voluntarily, even if humanely, sentencing him to an unnatural death. Sigh. Ugh.
So we hauled the crew over to say our good-byes. We were the saddest little bunch you've ever seen...or heard (if you consider Mackey's WAILING...Mackey would make a fortune in a culture that pays for professional 'mourners'). Mackey said the sweetest little prayer for Berkeley...that Heavenly Father would take care of him and that he'd be brave and happy and we'd see him again someday.
I think I will cry about this for a while. More than I ever thought I would...grizzled vet that I think I am. And Calvin will have to find another job.

Budunka-dunka and Other Workout Wear

Newest post for the stylistically challenged. Hitting up my fave subject: sports bras. See below. Also...looking for topics for the next couple of weeks. Help??? I only have one subscriber through the newspaper's website with no other questions from g-pop forthcoming. For those of you unfamiliar with inappropriate prison movies or cop shows, 'g-pop' is general population.
Today’s topic is a little touchy but near and dear to my heart. Literally. Sports bras and other gym attire.
A friend asked me about workout wear specifically wanting to know where she could wear gym clothes after she left the gym. This particularly fit friend can wear whatever she wants wherever she wants. Sigh. For the rest of us, there are some guidelines. Ok, for her, too, to prevent car crashes or husband smacks. Consider the typical errand-sphere of most suburban inhabitants: Target, schools, lunch, mall, groceries, and kid games. As a rule of thumb, gym clothes will suffice anywhere you will push a cart, eat with a menu on the wall, and cheer little kids. By default, extended trips to the mall – no one wants you to try things on all sweaty – and school visits are a no-no. With a caveat. If you are dropping off, fine. If you are sticking around, make sure you’re dressed to the standard that the school expects of its students.
On another note, think about conventional gym attire. Obviously you don’t need to dress to impress; however, the best thing I ever did to lose 35 pounds was get decent workout-specific clothes. Like a uniform, I take my exercise more seriously when I wear clothing specific to the task at hand…not something I’d clean my floors in.
While I’m at it, I feel compelled – no, OBLIGATED – to address the issue of workout bras. I am so evangelical about a certain brand of exercise bra that I should get an endorsement from them. Seriously, people have stopped me from offering ‘free consultations’ to strangers. In my not so humble opinion, no other bra does a better job keeping your chest in one place than Enell. Google it or visit Run On in McKinney. Admittedly, it is ugly. It is my sacrifice to vanity’s altar. But do you know what it is really ugly? Budunka-dunka. There’s not even a word for that awful bounce; just a sound effect. It is so vulgar to see a woman running or jumping or whatever with all of her femininity all over the place – no matter how much you paid for them. I’m not just talking about busty women either. Smaller sizes need to keep it together, too. If you don’t already have one, do yourself, no, do us all a favor, and pick one up.